How God Selects The Mother of a Diabetic (by Erma Bombeck)

How God Selects The Mother of a Diabetic (by Erma Bombeck)

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.

Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with diabetes are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patrson Saint Matthew"

"Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint Cecilia"

"Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint Gerard. He's used to profanity"

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a child with diabetes." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy"

"Exactly", smiles God. "Could I give a child with diabetes to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she the patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother."

"You see, the child I am going to give her has his own world. She has to make the child live in her world and that's not going to be easy"

"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she cannot separate herself from the child occassionaly, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with less than perfect."

"She does not realize it yet, but she is to be envied. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see... ignorance, cruelty, prejudice... and allow her to rise above them."

"She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of everyday of her life because she is doing my work as surely as if she is here by my side."

"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice"