Woman, Independent Parent, Artist, Advocate, Artifical Pancreas.... and EVERYTHING in between.

I am blessed to be parenting two beautiful girls, ages eight and eleven. My youngest nearly lost her life at age six (August 2010) to diabetic ketoacidosis: an often fatal consequences of undiagnosed type 1 diabetes. This is OUR journey: raw and sometimes, uncensored.

Thank you for visiting wishing good health and a cooperative pancreas to you and yours.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

This Ain't A Pity Party, THIS Is A Reality Check

Mothers Day.

Where would Hallmark profits be, without Mothers Day?

This, 2012, marks my 5th Mothers Day as a single parent.  Looking back, I don't think I can even recall a Mothers Day occurring within the original family unit. I'm sure it did, but that seems lifetimes ago.

My brother and I were raised by a single mother, from the age of 6 & 8 onwards. So when I was contemplating leaving the marriage, I felt I had some pretty good insight as to what life as a single parent would be.

You know that saying "Mama told me there'd be days like this" Well, those days blur into weeks, into months, into years. Into epic chunks of time.

Mothers Day 2008, I was gainfully employed. Had two beautiful healthy daughters. Life was ours for the taking, within reason.

Now let's take "Mama told me there'd be days like this" crumble up that piece of paper, and toss it into the fire.  We're going to now replace it with "You don't know what you've got til it's gone"

When I embarked on single motherhood, I didn't know that somewhere, tiny little grains of sand were falling through an hour glass. Further, what I didn't know, is that those weren't tiny little grains of sand, those were my daughter's beta cells, insulin producing cells of the pancreas, slowly self annihilating.

Nobody told me, because nobody knew. Who in their right mind would have suspected THIS?

Mothers Day 2012.  I haven't worked since February 2011. As of May 2012, my youngest daughter (8) is no longer attending school. Both changes a direct result in her type 1 diabetes diagnosis. My art career: it washed up on rocky shores, maybe one day it will be resurrected, I can only hope. But honestly, right now, I'm too tired to hope.

I love how society puts pressure (whether they are aware of it or not) for children to make Mother's Day something spectacular. Well, reality check: who do you think has to carry these plans to fruition on Mother's Day in the single mother home? Yeah, you guessed it.  Good ol' Mom.

We have a rule in our house when it comes to gifts for me. It must be found, or made. There is NO purchasing of gifts. In a simple effort to eliminate pressure on a child, to be able to produce something worthy. Anything that is offered from those sweet tiny little hands, is worthy. So UNBELIEVABLY worthy!

I used to think that being a single mother was draining.  Until I had to actively become one of my child's organs. I am her helicopter pancreas.  Trust me.... you don't KNOW what draining is.

In closing, happy Mother's Day. I'm off to make lunch, do an insulin pump site change, do laundry, make beds, and everything else that comes with single motherhood.

When is Helicopter Pancreas day???

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